Saturday, August 25, 2012

Adoptions and gay families


Adoptions and gay families

 

I was just reading Bryan’s blog about the 10 kids and 2 dads. http://gayfamilyvalues.blogspot.com/2012/08/10-kids-2-dadsan-open-conversation.html  I hadn’t watched the show, I don’t think I have OWN channel, and I don’t usually watch TV anymore. He has said this; there is Michelle who sometimes helps the two dads. Often whenever there is something to be discussed, Michelle was called in to help.

Now, I get what Bryan is saying; why Michelle? Why can’t the show focus on the two guys who should be doing the discussion on what’s best for their kids? Is it that they think that children NEED a mommy figure? I really don’t get those people. If you’re going to do a show about two dads raising kids, especially many kids, you will need to show them as they are, not someone who needs to rely on an opposite sex person as if they’re incapable of handling things themselves. It makes the dads sound unhelpful and incompetent.

I don’t know what was really going on with the family off camera, but I rather we have the facts. I don’t trust television; they can warp things to their own liking. Now, I have no problem with the idea of having someone help out once in a while, it can be a good thing, but it’s important to show the two dads talking about issues that needed to be discussed together otherwise, you’re just making them look like unfit fathers.

It is great to see same-sex families on TV, there should be more and they should be shown as they are, not acted or altered for any reason. They should be shown as they are. But as I fear, Television cares more about ratings and money than facts. But I can be wrong and there are certain channels that see same-sex families as just any other families, with their own ups and downs and that these families are truly capable of raising healthy, stable kids. The real danger is the homophobia.

 

Bryan has made a point about the fact that some people look at large families as something bad. I live in a huge family, I have three brothers and three sisters. My brothers and my eldest sister have children of their own. The way I see it, families comes in all shapes and sizes, there are good and bad in all families. There is no good reason to look at a large group of families and judge them hastily. You can’t know a family by looking at them, no matter how big or small, or their gender or sexuality, or anything like that.

 

The saddest thing about adoptions is that those who look to adopt children, do not look for those who are disabled, minority, or even interesting to look at. I figured that with my hearing impairment, I wouldn’t be adopted by anyone. I say this because most people who adopt are too judgmental and picky. When it comes to Daniel and Selena, Jay and Bryan’s children, they are the minority and Daniel has Golden Har Syndrome. If it weren’t for Jay and Bryan, Daniel might not have been adopted, let alone along with his sister Selena.

This is said because some people who commented on Jay and Bryan’s video about why most kids that were adopted were black. Why did it matter if they were black? Shouldn’t it matter that they now have a family?

I think the way people treats adoption, is the same way they treat pet adoptions; choosing the most perfect, adorable one that may be their own ethnic. To me that is cruel and unloving. I would like those people to ask themselves if they were in an orphanage with different skin color, disability, and unwanted, how would they feel?

 

Now, there is also gay couples who look to adopt and yet are treated like they’re inferior or a danger to kids. This the 21st century and yet people still thinks like those in the 60’s, “gays are pedophiles!” “gays are recruiting kids!” and all that bullcrap.

Why are we still going on the same way as it had been in the 60’s? Hadn’t we all got passed that? Evidently not. I have made most post before about families and that gay couple are just like any other couples and that gays who choose to adopt are simply choosing to be parents like any other straights who chose to be parents. They want to raise a family, give a home to an unwanted kid and give them love, security, stable and healthy life.

Now, some people actually talk about abuses and neglect, but when it comes to a gay couple adopting, they’re against it simply because they’re gay and smear them with “pedophilia” or “abusive parent.”

I find it sad that when people who actually abuse kids or neglect them, they’re just being given a slap on the wrist and be on their way. But if a gay couple adopts a kid, it doesn’t matter how healthy, stable, or safe these kids are, it doesn’t matter that you help them with their homework, take them to soccer practice, to dentist appointments, or to school. It doesn’t matter that you read them a bedtime story, took them to a theme park, or even give them a pet to care for. All that mattered to them was that you’re gay and they don’t want it. All because “children needs a mother and a father” and “gays are harmful to children!”

Why is it like that? Where’s the sense in all this?