Sunday, March 25, 2012

What harm could same-sex marriage do? (Humor)

What harm could same-sex marriage do?

Hi and welcome to the Homophobes Support Group. We’re all going to tell each other just how same-sex marriage ruins lives.

Imaginary harm #1 “How am I supposed to explain to my kid that two men love each other?”

Imaginary harm #2 “It’s a sin! It goes against my religious faith!”

Imaginary harm #3 “My husband finds the two women sexy and tries to video tape them, so I divorced him.”

Imaginary harm #4 “They’re redefining marriage! Marriage never got redefined! Women have no right to property and blacks can’t marry whites!”

Imaginary harm #5 “Gays are icky, icky, icky perverts! I hate anal sex, it’s so gross!”

Imaginary harm #6 “my child came out, so I divorced my wife.”

Imaginary harm #7 “Did you hear what Nation for Marriage had said in their ‘Gathering storm?’ That stuff is so scary!”

Imaginary harm #8 “They’re not content to my bigoted ways.”

Imaginary harm #9 “I fear that people will start marrying their dogs soon! No, my dog wasn’t wearing my ex’s wedding ring, don’t be silly.”

Imaginary harm #10 “I have a sudden urge to stick my nose into the bedroom of my next door neighbors and videotape them.”

Imaginary harm #11 “I see them all over the street, holding hands, kissing in public, talking to each other, eating lunch together, enjoying quality time together. I was scarred for life!!”

Imaginary harm #12 “They brought the issue into my life...”

Imaginary harm #13 “It’s like… stupid duh! You can’t like have children this way because like you gotta have a penis and a vagina right?”

Imaginary harm #14 “My freedom is taken away and I have no choice.”

Imaginary harm #15 “I believe everything Rick Santorum said. He was with me in the gay bar last night.”

Imaginary harm #16 “The storm is coming…”

Imaginary harm #17 “My bible says it’s wrooooooooooong DUH!!”

Imaginary harm #18 “I am afraid!”

Imaginary harm #19 “They’re changing the way I live.”

Imaginary harm #20 “They’re coming into our children’s school and telling them that gay marriage is ok!”