Tuesday, January 24, 2012

"Marry My Guy" - Marry The Night Parody



Love Sean Chapin for this! It is very good.

removing your marriage! Rated R: satire and sheer absurdity


Removing your marriage


(The purpose of this satire was to point out that opponents of gay marriage is so obessed with the idea of procreation and how important it is to them, i decide to have a little fun with them. I might make more of this just to ridicule the opponents for fun! Enjoy!)


“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Johnson,



It has come to my attention that you’ve been married together since June 14th 1964 and your four children are now grown up and are living their own life, we are removing your marriage license. You are no longer able to bear any more children and your children are already grown, we see no need for you anymore. Please proceed to give up all your beneficial rights and insurances. We hope you have a nice day.”



“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bennett,



It has come to my attention that you have been married on the day Feburary 14, 2003, we notice that you have decided not to have children. Considering that we feel that children in marriage is important, we removed your marriage license. We regret to inform you that your marriage will not be renewed because you decided surely that you do not want children. Since you decide that your genitalia is your business and not ours, we feel offended and decided to place you under arrest.”



“Dear Mrs. Carol Berkley,



We are sorry for your loss of your husband Matthew Berkley, who served well in the Marine and was killed in Afghanistan, and are removing your marriage license. Your child(ren) will be removed and placed in foster care because we believe that children are best raised by a mother and a father. Considering that we do not approve of gay couples marrying to adopting, we feel that it would make us hypocrites to deny two men rights but allow single parents, we decided to exclude you from marriage as well. We are sorry for your loss, so have a nice evening.”



“Dear Mr. Eric Brown,



It has come to my attention that from your medical record, you are infertile. You’ve been married to Beverly on January 3rd 2011, but we are sorry to inform you that we cannot allow your marriage to continue and are removing your license. It is important to us that you and your wife bear children because it is so obviously very important to us and yes, your genitalia is our business. Your wife will no longer be allowed to remarry because according to the biblical verse, it is considered adultery to remarry to another person. If she tries to remarry, we will stone her to death.”

bullying and teasing


Bullying and teasing





I have heard quite a lot of commotion about kids being bullied and teased, and I remember being bullied and teased myself when I was in high school. I heard some people proclaim that if kids are raised by gay parents, they’ll be teased. On unrelated topic, I heard people talk about how kids would be bullied and teased because of this or that. You would think they would be fighting against the bullies, but alas, they were fighting against the victims. Siding with the bullies, makes you a bully as well. I will explain.

Let’s say there is a couple and they’re both men who are gay. They’ve been together for 28 years, they have adopted a little boy named Billy. Little Billy wears glasses, he has autism, he has a cleft lip, and he has a surgical scar on his abdomen. He is 10 years old and he goes to school. At school, kids picked on him because he had glasses, he was has autism and a cleft lip. He was also teased for having two dads who are gay.

Instead of dealing with the bullies themselves, they blame the gay dads for adopting Billy, “Kids will be teased because they have a gay dad.” Why is it that they wouldn’t deal with the bullies? Because they’re not interested in accepting the fact that gay people can adopt children, or even get married. This is just mere discrimination, not a concern for bullying. The ones who truly are concerned about dealing with bullies are people who support equality, experienced forms of bullying themselves, and/or concerned about the victims and want to make them feel better. Victims shouldn’t be blamed, nor should they be ignored. As for having glasses or autism or cleft lip, it’s also something that little Billy has no control over. People get bullied and teased for various things, but none of these were any of the victim’s fault. The way to stop bullying, is to stop the bullies, not try to control the victims.

Bullying does not just come from school, it comes from other two places; the internet and religious bigots who cite passage from their religious texts proclaiming, “Gays are sinners worthy of death.”

This is one of the reason why LGBT youths were being picked on or bullied to the point of committing suicide. What does a religious bigot say to that? “That’s just how it is with them gays! They lead an unhappy, unhealthy, unstable life and they’re killing themselves instead of changing their ways to suit our ideals. We refuse to accept differences and we will blindly hate and bully them because the bible verse says they’re wrong.”

The way I see it, they’re no better than the people of Middle East who murders people (I’m not saying all of Middle East, just those who do murder). There is no sense in this. A senseless, hate-filled, ignorance, hypocritical, vile lies is not good for the betterment of society. All that does is hurt others. It is the bigotry and hate that is killing out kids, not their sexuality.

The internet has a lot of hateful comments, e-mails, and articles made by homophobic people. Their form of bullying also has claimed the lives of bullied victims. What is it with the fascination with having blood on your hands? I cannot understand how people can be so cruel. But not just cruel, they also do want them to die as well.

All of this is stemmed from hating what they do not understand. What is there to bully a kid who wears glasses? Why do you wish to bully or tease a kid who is overweight? So that kid has autism, so what? What reason is there to bully? So that kid can’t walk properly, why do you wish to pick on them? That kid is sitting alone in the cafeteria and all you’re doing is snickering and pointing at them, instead of trying to get to know the kid. So that kid is gay, big deal. What is the point of bullying others? Because you think you’re better than others? Is it because your parents didn’t love you? Maybe you’ve been bullied and teased yourself and thought it’s ok to lash out at someone else and bully them. Is it because you were told things about homosexuality?

Bullying doesn’t get you friends. It does not get you respect. It does not make you look good. If you want respect, friendship, and to look good to others, be kind to them, get to know them, and understand them.

To all the grown up bullies, I’m sorry your education abandoned you, I’m sorry you think your religious texts is a logical reason to discriminate and threat others. You must have been so proud of yourself and proud of raising children to bully others. You must be so proud of having innocent blood on your hands. You must be proud to dip your child who bullies in the blood of their victims. You must feel so proud to hate your children who are gay and forced them into suicide. Have a nice life in the dark where no one will want you.