Saturday, February 4, 2012

The right to Love: American family

Gay Family Values aka Depfox aka The Leffews

I don’t know when I first heard of them or how I came to watch their video on youtube, but I am glad to have found their channel. They are both husbands and they are fathers to two adopted children; Daniel and Selena. Bryan and Jay are two people who decided to make the videos of their family after the proposition 8 was passed in California. They want to show the world what kind of family a gay couple could be; that they are no different from straight people, that they have their problems just like any family does, that they enjoy spending time together as any family.

Jay and Bryan have not just shared their family, they shared their lives to us. Jay has told us his sad story when he tried to commit suicide, when his father disowned him because he is gay. Jay and Bryan shares us how they both met and told us how Jay proposed to Bryan. They even share us their story about adoption, when they adopted Daniel and Selena.

Bryan’s coming out

Jay’s coming out

Part 1

part 2

“Gay Family Value: my suicide story”

“How we Met Gay Family Values” part 1

“How we Met Gay Family Values” part 2

Their Adoption story part 1 “Conservations”

Their Adoption story Part 2 “Getting Qualified”

Their Adoption story Part 3 “Meeting our Kids”

Their Adoption story part 4 “Your questions”

Daniel and Selena are two wonderful kids who couldn’t be happier having two dads who care about them. Jay and Bryan not only love them, they do a lot for them; helping with homework, making breakfast and dinners everyday, bandaging their boo boos, reading them stories, spending quality time with them, making holiday decoration, taking them to school, sometimes they take them to parade, they even made videos “Ask a gay family” where many viewers could ask them a question.

Their videos are are very fascinating to watch. They often try to say, “We’re just trying to show that we’re just as boring as any straight family.” But they are not boring, they are fascinating. They often share us videos of their kids birthdays, especially Selena’s 7th birthday “Alice in Wonderland.”

Some time to time, a fellow youtuber who shows up in their videos makes wonderful music and video with them in it like “Don’t say gay” which is a parody song that is about the ‘don’t say gay’ ballot in Tennessee they’re trying to pass,  “King and King” which is a children’s book that they preformed “I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus.” This is a parody to ‘I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.’ His name is Sean Chapin. He is an awesome youtuber and he is a family friend of the Leffews.

Often they get positive feedbacks from many people who watched their videos, which was something they didn’t expect much from. They do of course get negative feedbacks from homophobic folks who think that the videos were a ploy and that they’re not a loving family for real.

Some thinks that Daniel and Selena were forced into their home or that they’re to be pitied because they didn’t have a mother. For all who wants to know, their mother values drugs above her kids. She took drugs when pregnant with them. She was not eligible to be parent anymore.

Some people think that the videos were not real and it’s all just an act. But some youtubers have visited them in real life and saw that they are for real and that they are a wonderful family onscreen and off. I hope to meet them too one day.

They didn’t just make videos, Bryan Leffew had made a blog, which tells a lot of his thoughts and feelings as a stay home dad. Bryan has shown that his thoughts and feelings are no different from what any parent would feel.

They did not only have adopted two children, they also became foster parents to three children who were placed in their home. A baby who is in their care was with them, until he was sent back to his parents. Six months later, Jay and Bryan had gotten a call that the boy was in the hospital with a broken arm. They were upset and they took him back in. It was clear from the medical report that he was abused by his family.

There is the documentary movie that they’ve made which is called “The right to love: the American family.” I had not yet gone to see it, but in February, it’ll show its premier in Castro in California. Some people from youtube are promising to show up there, buying tickets to see it. I for one would not make it sadly, but I will hopefully see it one day.

“The Right To Love: An American family documentary trailer”

The whole point was to show the world that there is nothing to be afraid of, that all the lies they’ve been told is as it is, a lie. They’re just like every other family, neither better nor worse. They are of course great parents, they have huge hearts, they have touched many hearts on youtube, facebook and other sites.

There had been letters sent to them by those who sees them as inspiration, they gave them courage to stand up and come out, they gave them courage to move forward. This was more than what Jay and Bryan expects, but they are very happy indeed.

There have been of course some e-mails they receive from LGBT individuals who feel that their prayer have been off-putting due to religion that have been discriminating the LGBT individuals for years. They were upset over that. I was too. While it is true that religion has done horrible things, there are people today who do not like that and wish to bring love and acceptance. Time has been changing and it’s still changing today.

My thought on that was this, “Why did it matter if people believe in a God? What matters is what people do, not what people believed. Religion may have dark roots, but not everyone is dark and bigoted. There are more and more Christians now that are becoming more accepting than those who weren’t.” That is a good thing, not a bad thing and this is coming from an Atheist. No two people of the same group are alike. One may be dark and mean, another maybe kind and good.

Whatever may be stored for them in the future, I hope it remains as bright as ever. The Leffews are awesome people and I will hope we meet one day. I hope we will bring the end of discrimination soon, I hope we will reach out to all and help bring down the bigotry, to end bullying and suicide, to bring an end to hate crime.

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