Sunday, January 29, 2012

Want the Traditional Marriage from the Bible? Ok.


Want the Traditional Biblical Marriage? Ok.



You have the traditional man and woman.



Genesis 2:24



-          Wives must be subordinate to their husbands

-          Interfaith marriage is forbidden (Can’t have Hindu and Christian marriage for example)

-          Marriages would be generally arranged, it is not a romantic love.

-          If the Bride is not a virgin, she must be stoned to death.



In today’s marriage, none of that applied. Doesn’t that mean we’re violating traditional marriage? Hmm…



You can have a man, a woman, and a concubine.



Solomon had three hundred concubines.



Where are our concubines? Oh, that’s right; we’re just blatantly ignoring the Biblical traditions while proclaiming we’re following Biblical tradition in a certain way.



You can have a man, a woman, and her property.



Genesis 16



-          Man could acquire his wife’s property including her slaves.



Woman, where is all your slaves? Oh that’s right, it’s been outlawed.



You can have a man, a woman, a woman, a woman, and another woman.



Solomon had 700 wives.



Where are all our wives? Oh, polygamy is not acceptable here.



You can have a man and his brother’s widow.



Genesis 38:6-10



-          Widow who had not borne a son required to marry her brother in law.

-          Must submit sexually to her new husband.



Oh come now, let’s not get angry here. Look, it said so in the Bible, you hadn’t borne a son and my brother, your husband, is dead. Now get in bed and spread those legs! You don’t wanna go against tradition now do you? Do you want to be stoned to death?



You can have a rapist marry his victim



Deuteronomy 22:28-29



-          A virgin who was raped must marry her rapist

-          Rapist must pay the victim’s father fifty shekels of silver for property loss.



Yes, alright, I admit it; I raped her. Ok, I’ll pay fifty shekels of silver for you sir. Ok, woman, you’re now my wife.



How come we’re not doing this? Oh that’s right, rape is ugly and never acceptable. Also, women are not property.



Every man in military can have a spoil of war, that includes a woman.



Numbers 31:1-18 and Deuteronomy 21:11-14



-          Under Moses command, Israelites must kill every Midianite men, woman and child; save for those who are virgin girls and keep them as spoils of war.

-          Wives must submit to their new owners.



What are you crying about? Yeah, yeah I killed your parents, your brothers, and your sisters who knew a man. You’re now mine!



Why hadn’t we seen soldiers do this? Oh that’s right, it’s a terrible thing to do to people.



Let’s have our male slave and female slave



Exodus 21:4



-          Slave owners could assign female slaves to his male slaves

-          Female slaves must submit to their new husbands.







What’s that? Oh, it’s all just Old Testament? Well, your Jesus did say we should uphold the laws of the Old Testament, he didn’t say he would do away with the laws. But alas, you wanted to have traditional marriage from the Bible, that’s what this is. If you really don’t want to follow those, then why must we listen to the part about gay men? That too was part of the Old Testament and your Jesus never said a word about homosexuality.



Next time you want to use the Old Testament as an excuse for your hate, think about all the laws that came with it. You didn’t want to follow those, so why should Gay men be the exception? It’s pretty simple, you’re not concerned about following the Bible; you just find gay men “Icky.”

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