Saturday, January 21, 2012

Same-sex parenting

Same-sex parenting

I heard the phrase, “You wouldn’t know parenting, you never had kids” quite often. I have observed many parents when my work in a grocery store. Often I see parents that are oblivious to their children, children screaming for sweets and toys, parents giving their kids sweets or toys just to shut them up, some parents allowing their kids total control over them, parents having mental breakdowns, and such. Sure there have been some children who are well behaved; some parents set their kids straight, some parents being more focused on their kids instead of text messages or phones so much, and more. From the way I see it; I know a lot more about parenting just from observing. The whole idea that you cannot know parenting less you are one is absurd. My guess is, they’re just envious that those who don’t have kids and have observed them, makes them feel like they just, to phrase the word, “got trolled!”

But I did not just observe parenting from straight people, which were the majority of people shopping at my store, I also research parents from news. It was gruesome and hideous; parent(s) murdered their child(ren), their child(ren) kidnapped and raped and murdered, children neglected by their parents, parents abusing them physically, mentally, sexually, or emotionally, some parents disowning their children because they’re gay or atheist, some parents killing their children because they heard a voice in their head, children who were malnourished, children who were abandoned, children whose parents that valued drugs, alcohol, gambling, and/or partying over their children, some parents who used their children as trash bags, punching bag, money maker, or something even more horrible. All this just makes me want to just escape the planet already.

So what does all this have to do with same-sex parents? The fact that opponents of same-sex couples who adopt or surrogate believes that gays are worse than convicts, would indoctrinate children, make them gay, or something sinister.

I look at the bad parents, mostly from straight people, and I look at same-sex couples, where I see people just raising their kids like any decent, stable, competent person would. Sexuality has nothing to do with parenting, parenting does not come to one automatically, and it is how one takes care of their kids and what they learned.

Is a gay couple better at parenting than straight people? My answer is no. But it’s a good kind of no. As I just said, sexuality has nothing to do with how well you can be a parent. While gay parents are more likely to plan on having kids, straight couples sometimes have kids by accident or unplanned. Some straight parents just thinks that having kids just easy. It’s not easy when you don’t have a stable home, stable finances, or stable life. Of course, it is not easy when you do have that either still. Having kids is never easy and it’s full of hardship, trouble, pain, and fear. This can be the same even for gay couples, even when they adopt or surrogate. It’s not a breeze for anyone. This is why I believe one must learn before proceeding with having children. Much like with cars, you can’t be an excellent driver if you don’t know what you’re doing or what you should know.

Some opponents claim that children needed a mother to bond with. Sad to say, mothers are not perfect angels. Some died during child birth, some just drops the baby and goes off doing whatever she wants like the baby was just a play doll you can buy at the store, some mothers abuses their children, some mothers throws her baby away like trash, some mothers don’t even breastfeed their kids (Not that they should, it’s perfectly fine to go with formula), and some mothers just aren’t around because they’re too busy with work and they put their kid with a nanny or whoever cares for the kid.

As for fathers, they’re not exactly the best either. It can be the same as I said for the mothers. No one is perfect no matter their gender or their sexuality.

There are good, decent parents and they still make mistakes, they still feel irritated, they still feel that fatigue and such, but there are parents that still loving being a parent. I see no logical reason why people should separate gay parents from straight parents. No one is better or worse than another. Sure some might believe that gay parents are better. Not exactly. The thing is, we’re all human; we’re all going to make bad choices as well as good choices, make mistakes and fix the mistakes. It’s better to acknowledge that parenting has nothing to do with sexuality or gender, it has to do with how they raise a family.

Remember, all families comes in different shapes and sizes.

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